I have come to know many great healers and teachers so far on my journey. Everyone of them has a unique and gifted perspective towards this great earth we inhabit. Their growth has led them to a place in which they are now able to speak through experience, not words.
Words don't teach, only experience. (one of the best phrases I've ever learned)
I have also learned that within that knowing and observation, the acknowledgement of individual perspective is so very important.
We are each living our own reality/experience and pursuing our own unique purpose. There isn't a right way or wrong way, it just is. And everyone is entitled to their own opinion, direction and choices.
So I listen, take what feels right through the experience of others, and maybe even at times silently disagree when I feel something is shared based on projection. I don't feel the need to argue my point anymore or make someone see it from my perspective, I feel that is wasted energy.
Projections, the very thing we must constantly be mindful of doing when we feel insecure or hurt.
When I began stepping lightly into the community of spirituality, I noticed that the phrase "Speaking my Truth" kept creeping into conversation.
I had never used/heard this term and found it interesting. I quickly realized that when someone said this, it meant directly after there would be an issue expressed, one that was possibly pertaining to something you did.
In other words, they were about to express that you make them feel a certain way about themselves or you are acting as a mirror to them and it is uncomfortable. (the last part is more than likely subconscious)
Standing from a different perspective at the very beginning of observing this term, I felt was extremely helpful for me.
I was able to quickly see and compare the difference between speaking your truth with love, and speaking your truth through projections. And the power we give away to others in order to make us feel whole.
Most of us know that friends, lovers or even people you pass by are mirrors to us.
So, if we are upset by someone outside of ourselves, we must ask-why?
Is this because they are showing me actions I do or characteristics I possess within myself?
Our perception is our projection. (another amazing phrase I hold onto)
So as this term began to seep into me with clarity, I began to relive all the ways I had been presented with this in conversation. The ways I believed friends were coming to speak about hurt feelings, but instead were projecting their own issues onto me.
I began to examine all the ways I had done this in the past as well.
The times I thought I was sharing my feelings and hurts with someone, and in reality it was only the way I had treated others or allowed others to treat me. It was a reflection of how I felt in my own existence about myself.
And to be honest, I once thrived off giving someone a piece of my mind. It fed my insecurities like oxygen to a flame.
I felt instant gratification in the moment.
I've learned that when we search outside of ourselves for validation, wholeness or comfort - our projections become even more frequent, loud and toxic.
So to sum up my growth, observation and (my) perception towards the concept of Truth Speaking......
Speaking your truth doesn't hurt others. It sheds a light on self destructive or hurtful actions, but it never points them out like accusations.
They may not like what you say to them. It may hurt them to hear what they may have been doing to you or themselves, but it is said from the heart and not ego. It said with love and not anger or resentments.
That kind of truth speaking and love, will always be appreciated in the long run.
I now share my feelings/truth after examining why I may feel this way first.
Because I am the constructor of experience, I am also the only one who will allow someone to make me feel a certain way. And there is always an underlining reason someone bothers you.
And unfortunately, most of the time, it is not about them at all. (blah)
So when you hear someone say, I want to share my truth with you. Give yourself the opportunity to step back, observe and grow from their words and intentions. Sometimes responding with, I will hear you, gather how I feel and get back to you, is the best response we can give someone.
You may see yourself, and them, in a light you may not have yet seen.