My life has seemed like a constant flow of forward moving momentum and rash, sudden pauses.
I can't remember a time in my life were I could function normally without having something to look forward to. That feeling of moving forward towards what I could see, comforted me, and kept me content. I have always been a hostage of the human condition in which we think too much into the future. Being present in the moment, is most definitely something I am still working on.
I have always needed something to hyper focus on in my life. Sometimes this was a positive thing, and sometimes not so much. If I am passionate about something, I put all I have within that one thing. Sometimes it causes me to ignore other issues within my life. I have always been one to feel deeply, or not give a damn. There really is no "in between" for me.
The older I have become, the more I can see the growth within the stillness; those silent pauses within my life. The moments when so much seems to be going on around me. Adventures are constant, friends are constantly around, and sometimes I forget all that once troubled me because life was throwing blissful experiences my way.
Then, one day everything seems to pause. Almost as if someone (maybe my higher self) has a pause button on my life.
I felt as if moments ago, I was standing on the mountain in a far off land, staring at the magical jungle of Bali, and then, I am back at my desk within the grip of a job that no longer serves me.
Recently, I had a revelation within my thoughts. A channeled, clairvoyant stream of conscious knowledge came into my mind. The "pause" is the time of regaining my balance. It is a time when I see the possibilities of what I can construct within this life. I manifested and constructed, all the adventures and interactions between souls. The places I see, the people I meet, all done by the driving force that is my soul.
My pause in life is my review session.
It is a time of reviewing my gratitude of the possibilities within this life. The endless avenues of happiness, adventure and bliss, are always within my reach. My challenge is always remembering this is the truth, this is our reality, and every experience that is no longer, should be celebrated and not mourned.
I am slowly moving to a more present state of mind. It is taking me far longer that I would like, but steps are steps no matter how big. The pause is something I used to fear before it was even present. I already constructed it within my mind, putting it straight within my aura. Before an experience was even here, I would obsess over the ending.
I now see every manifested experience of growth and adventure, is my higher self and the universe, sharing the possibilities that are here for me as a human. I look at each one as something I am so fortunate to experience, and with every beginning there must be an ending.
This is the cycle of life, and can not be changed.
I am in the "pause" as we speak and the more I write, the more at ease I feel. I am building up the momentum for my next adventure, my next experience of growth. I am gathering all I need for the experiences to succeed, and then within divine timing, the universe will deliver.
The "pause" no longer owns my mind. I have regained my power within its purpose. And I now see more clearly what can be gained within the stillness.