I am healing.
From a love that came and left, from wounds still evident from childhood and from the torment and harsh words I once made this beautiful body endure.
I am at a place within my journey where I am able to help others by the level of growth I have accomplished, but I am fully able to accept and say, that there is still healing to be done within me. Until death I know I will continue healing myself and others within this ever changing life.
I have decided that my vulnerability, my authenticity and my ever so evident transparency; will help heal my pain.
I have decided to use my non-filtered mind and mouth, for my highest good and not against me. I will use my words to share my inner most desires and feelings, and not my projections.
I recently took a trip to meet new souls, explore places I had not seen and see old friends. I had no idea the transition, the pain and the remembrance I was about to experience. I became triggered by emotions I had not yet healed from.
I felt sad, angry, scared and vulnerable.
I questioned everything about myself, my journey and my desires in this life. It was as if I traveled to the core of past life pains and a sadness I am still experiencing in this life. I left my home with a routine that was healing me a little bit at a time.
I left my place of comfort and threw myself into the fire.
I was in the extreme, fast paced energy of Southern California, feeling everything. And when I say everything, I mean it. The empath in my veins was screaming to run away, grab a hold of something that makes me feel safe! My inner child was screaming to be held or JUST RUN!
But I couldn't run away. All I could do was breathe, accept what was happening and work my way through it, not around it.
So far in this life, I have only traveled to places that made me feel adventurous, safe, free and willing to venture into the unknown.
I realize now that is was my alignment and energy that I am currently swimming in. It is the experience I am going through currently of letting go of the things I wanted to skip through, ignore or act like I was moving through quickly.
The Universe just doesn't allow "Drive-Through Healing".
There are no easy routes or escape plans for healing. I have to go straight through for growth to occur. I have to accept what is for now, understand and embrace everything I am feeling and just let go.
So, as I work through the healing of new shifts and changes occurring within my life right now, I am staying as grounded as possible. Speaking when I feel called and being mindful when I must sit still and be the student.
I am now just allowing life to show itself to me and have as little participation as possible. I am releasing my desires, pain and future endeavors to appear in due time. I have set my intentions and manifestations in motion and have full faith the things I desire will appear.
I will be challenging myself to a 30 Day Vulnerability Challenge. JOIN ME if you feel called to share the things that no longer serve your inner being. #30DayVulnerabilityChallenge
On days when I need to align myself with a little music, a little Trevor Hall will do the trick.:)